Movie Mentions: Free LSD, Ace Venture: Pet Detective & 10 Things I Hate About You
Free LSD (2024)
Directed by Dimitri Coats. 2/5 stars.
To say I wanted more from Free LSD would be a wild understatement. I don’t need my movies about elderly sex shop workers taking experimental drugs that blast them into alternate realities where they’re lead singers in hardcore bands to be particularly deep, but I do expect something a bit more to sink my teeth into than what we’ve been given. Keith Morris (legendary original singer for Black Flag, frontman for the Circle Jerks, and eventually Off!) is fine in his role as the grumpy lead, and I thoroughly enjoyed seeing the late D.H. Peligro (former Dead Kennedys drummer and eventual drummer for Off!) in a movie, but what should have been a no-brainer for this old punk rocker is mostly just brainless. Even the appearance of professional skateboarder Don “The Nuge” Nguyen as “Stoner Dude” can’t save it from its unfortunately boring fate. I hate to say it, but go listen to an Off! or Circle Jerks record and watch an old Baker skate video instead.
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)
Directed by Tom Shadyac. 1/5 stars.
I can’t think about Ace Ventura, or Jim Carrey in general, without chuckling at the April 24, 1995 article from The Onion (in their book Our Dumb Century) “Rubber-Faced Fartsmith Is America’s Sweetheart.” That succinct headline perfectly encapsulates and lambasts Carrey’s ’90s output, including, most notoriously, the Ace Ventura franchise. Before even acknowledging the film’s blatant transphobia (its 1994 release predates by decades the current fear-mongering we currently face), it’s just not a funny movie. Any goodwill Ace garners in its early scenes (there’s a certain “wow” factor to how idiotic Carrey can be) quickly erodes with each passing second. Mere minutes into the film’s second act, the welcome has been obliterated, replaced by sheer grating annoyance. And regarding the transphobia, sure, things were different back then (yawn), but even as a fresh-faced 16-year-old, I could tell back in ’94 that this movie was mean-spirited and wrong. If you’re in the market for quality mid-’90s comedy, please look elsewhere.
10 Things I Hate About You (1999)
Directed by Gil Junger. 1/5 stars.
As far as pop culture goes, I hated everything about the late ’90s. The music, the fashion, and even most of the television and movies. But, for reasons I can’t explain even to this day, I was really into the “high school” films. Can’t Hardly Wait, Varsity Blues, Cruel Intentions, She’s All That, and even 10 Things I Hate About You were movies I’d watch over and over again. With the benefit of hindsight, though, I can say with unquestionable resolve that the latter is pretty terrible. Never mind all the weird casual misogyny — until recently, nearly every movie had at least a little bit of that — or the (once again) blatant misunderstanding of how “rock” shows work. What gets me about 10 Things is how unlikable the characters are. Sure, it’s nice to see Heath Ledger, but he doesn’t really do anything here, despite being a hunky male lead. And Julia Stiles as the angry Kat, is borderline insufferable. If you find yourself, like I did, pining for the films of your early 20s (or whenever), do yourself a favor and stick with Can’t Hardly Wait. That movie is genuinely funny, heartfelt, and self-deprecatingly aware of its own genre. Plus, it’s named after a Replacements song.
