Film Review: Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains (1982)
I’m a pretty big sucker for punk hysteria movies. Usually, they involve large amounts of hairspray, make-up, criminality, and switchblades. Ladies and Gentlemen doesn’t disappoint in this regard, but it has more on its mind than mindless violence and high school trauma. Rather surprisingly, it has quite a bit to say about conformity, identity, and gender politics, even if it’s not a well-made film by any stretch of the imagination. Its director, music producer Lou Adler, has only one other directing credit (1978’s Up in Smoke if you can believe it), but its critique of the cycle of fad and backlash make up for that—at least in part.
Adler should know better than anyone that the music business world of Ladies and Gentlemen doesn’t exist. It’s possible that screenwriter Nancy Dowd thought this is how it worked, but I suspect she wasn’t very concerned with accurate ins and outs of the industry. The unrealistic setting of the Pennsylvania punk rock tour circuit seems to be an afterthought. The story likely would have worked had it been dropped into just about any musical scene, but punk was big news all through the 80s. It came with built-in sensationalism.
The film takes place over a relatively short amount of time but attempts to chronicle the rise and fall of a trend and a movement. It compresses the boom of new ideas, the rise of a charismatic and controversial spokesperson, and their inevitable bust into an exaggerated timeline, giving the story a surreal feeling, not unlike a fairy tale. If it is a fairy tale, it’s certainly not a typical one. It has a damsel—a 17-year-old named Corrine Burns (Diane Lane), who recently gained local media attention by yelling at her boss on air during an interview about the economy, or something—but she’s not in distress. During a follow-up interview, she talks about her mother’s recent passing and defiantly dodges questions in a typical teenage fashion while slyly mentioning her band, The Stains (made up of her sister and cousin, played by Marin Kanter and Laura Dern). Oh, there’s no prince either.
Soon, with the help of a local promoter named Lawnboy (and the only character in the film whose intentions are truly pure), The Stains find themselves in the unlikely position of being on the road with The Looters, a punk band from England (made up of Steve Jones and Paul Cook of the Sex Pistols, Paul Simonon of The Clash, and actor Ray Winstone). This gives Corrine the perfect opportunity—and literal stage—to spread her message of liberation. Her manifesto isn’t always completely coherent, but it’s effective. Before long, Corrine is sporting a new punk hairstyle, bad-ass make-up, and skimpy, torn-up clothes, completing her “punk” transformation. She preaches an uncompromising doctrine of feminism that’s embraced by armies of teenage girls everywhere, while male journalists do everything they can to discredit it.
Corrine may be a somewhat naïve teenager, but her message resonates. “They have such big plans for this world, and they don’t include us! So what does that make you?” she yells at the crowd. “Just another girl lining up to die.” Her fearless attitude is infectious, and as close to an authentic representation of punk ideals and attitudes you’re likely to see on film (often, punks in media are grossly misrepresented, which makes for good fun, but inaccurate characterization). Even with her outrageous look, she preaches substance over style but eventually becomes the poster-child for conformists who scream non-conformity. In the end, The Stains become another exploitable fad, giving way to a backlash that is dramatically quick to come. It’s funny too, because at no point in the film—except during the end credits—are The Stains actually a good band. Oh well.
Ladies and Gentlemen is shoddily put together and, at times, embarrassingly amateurish, but in this case, I’m mostly okay with that. I suppose it’s the punk in me, but, as I said, I have a soft spot for these types of movies. At least this one has a message where most 80s and 90s punksploitation films have nothing but, well, exploitation. That’s not to say that Ladies and Gentlemen isn’t completely free of these trappings. There are, regrettably, some pervy moments which contrast Corrine’s “Don’t put out” message which I’m not sure what to make of. But, I’ve seen much, much worse, as I’m sure you have. I can’t say if the average non-punk will get it or like it, but this should be on every punk’s list of must-see films.
Side note: “Join the Professionals” by The Looters is a rocker.
