The Mission: To watch, review, and rank every episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, and Voyager.
The Protocol: 1. Watch every episode in the order they aired 2. Review and rank each episode within each of the 21 seasons 3. Rank the episodes within each series 4. Rank all 526 episodes
The Purpose: To gain Q-like knowledge of a television franchise that has had a monumental impact on my life. This is my tribute to Star Trek and what it has done for me.
In Season Two of The Next Generation, the show begins to hit its stride. We’re treated to some phenomenal television and even a few of the show’s best episodes. Gates McFadden is unceremoniously and unjustly replaced by Diana Muldaur, but we get Whoopi Goldberg as Guinan so maybe it’s a wash. Season Two also sets up a number of elements that will become major plot lines later on so keep your eyes peeled. Here we go, Star Trek: The Next Generation Season Two Ranked:
- S2 E22 “Shades of Gray”
Originally aired on July 17, 1989
A very lame season finale featuring what amounts to a Riker clip episode. Plus Troi and Pulaski discuss the unconscious Riker’s erotic emotions. Yuck.
Season Two does not end with a bang. When Riker is infected with a mysterious virus on an away mission (STD analogy, anyone?), he becomes trapped within his own mind with only his memories to keep him company. Dr. Pulaski watches as Troi gives a play by play on his emotional state. They discover that happy thoughts – including erotic ones (throw up in my mouth) – make the virus stronger and bad memories kill it (or something). Good thing Riker’s done lots of bad shit, eh?
- S2 E1 “The Child”
Originally aired on November 21, 1988
First appearance of Guinan and Dr. Pulaski. A gross, rapey episode that should be shunned.
Season Two doesn’t open with a bang either. In this episode, we meet Dr.Pulaski and Guinan for the first time. I never exactly disliked Dr. Pulaski, but she was no substitute for Bev. And when you find out just why Gates McFadden left the show it becomes even harder to like her scab replacement. Guinan, on the other hand, is a damned treasure who brought a new life to the show. Long live Guinan! Oh, the episode. Basically, Troi gets raped and impregnated by a cosmic ball of light and the man-crew (except Picard) discusses her situation as if she’s not even there. It’s bad.
- S2 E12 “The Royale”
Originally aired on March 27, 1989
There are a few funny moments, but ultimately, “The Royale” is mostly pointless filler.
This is one of those episodes that always seems to be on. I sometimes go years in between watching episodes of TNG but every time I tune in, somehow it’s this one. For the most part, “The Royale” is harmless, but when you add pointless to the mix you get boring. There are a few good comedic moments thrown in but not nearly enough to save it. Had writer Tracy Tormé gone completely nuts with the scripts instead of confining it to the outline of a bad pulp novel I might be singing a different tune. Ultimately, I’ll take any Dixon Hill episode over this.
- S2 E2 “Where Silence Has Lease”
Originally aired on November 28, 1988
What begins as an interesting mystery is eventually derailed by the tired “omnipotent being toying with the crew” angle.
I get pretty tired of the ship and crew being analyzed by some nearly-omnipotent life form. It’s been done to death. What makes “Where Silence Has Lease” even more frustrating is that it starts out pretty good. It’s creepy, atmospheric, and the mystery builds nicely until the “J.K. – it’s just a God-like creature messing with us. ” portion about half-way through. Wasted potential.
- S2 E7 “Unnatural Selection”
Originally aired on January 30, 1989
Really bad aging make-up and transporter technology that’s never used again add up to a misfire in this first Pulaski centered episode.
Here’s the deal: If someone dies, we can bring them back to life using DNA and the transporter. Great! What a discovery! Now, let’s never speak of it again. Dr. Pulaski breaks quarantine to help a research station with a mysterious disease that causes them to rapidly age. You’ll guess the cause within the first few minutes but still have to subject yourself to some of the worst make-up television has to offer.
- S2 E6 “The Schizoid Man”
Originally aired on January 23, 1989
Apparently, it’s very easy for old chauvinists to completely overtake Data and implant their consciousness into him. Who knew?
When a brilliant and pervy scientist refuses medical attention, he hatches a scheme to steal Data’s body so that he can live again. He accomplishes this surprisingly easily but what’s more striking is how long it takes the crew to figure it out. Oh, and he’s doing all of this so he can date his assistant who’s half his age. Basically, this is a “Let’s let Spiner ham it up for a while” episode with a sexist twist.
- S2 E19 “Manhunt”
Originally aired on June 19, 1989
Good old Lwaxana Troi leads us on some harmless, menopausal fun – except it isn’t all that fun.
The use of the term “menopausal” is theirs, not mine. It seems that when Betazoid women reach a certain age they become complete horndogs who will stop at nothing to find a mate. The men of the Enterprise are in trouble as Lwaxana goes on the prowl. Dixon Hill is thrown in for some reason (which somehow manages to further slow this already languid episode), but not even he can save the day. The one great thing about “Manhunt” is watching Mr. Homn drink excessively. You get the sense that this is the only thing keeping him from going on a murderous rampage.
- S2 E18 “Up the Long Ladder”
Originally aired on May 22, 1989
One planet is incapable of reproducing. Another is a walking drunk Irish stereotype. You do the math.
I don’t mind the concept at the core of this episode (except for all the randiness that comes with it), but the Irish stereotypes are horrible. It’s the 24th-century for chrissakes, not a Darby O’Gill and the Little People. Or worse, a damn cereal commercial. Riker nearly ruins everything in his usual sex-man way as well, but at least there’s a strong feminist overtone to this one that saves it from being pure hell. Brenna O’Dell has had quite enough with the patriarchy, thank you very much.
- S2 E8 “A Matter of Honor”
Originally aired on February 6, 1989
Basically, this episode is implausible the moment Riker beats up a Klingon while barely trying. Yeah right.
Riker is chosen to take part in an officer exchange program with a Klingon ship where he’ll get a crash course on how to die honorably. Things naturally go haywire and it seems the Riker will have to face off against the Enterprise. This could have made a very interesting story arc over a number of episodes, but the concept seems wasted here. And seriously, there is no way Riker could beat a Klingon so easily. I don’t care how good at Ambojitsu he is.
- S2 E8 “Loud as a Whisper”
Originally aired on January 9, 1989
A decent episode with some positive messaging. I wish they would stop talking so candidly about their libidos though. I don’t care what century it is.
The Enterprise is tasked with ferrying a pompous negotiator to his next assignment. As per usual, two planets have been at war for generations and this last-ditch effort is the only remaining hope of ever achieving peace. The negotiator, Riva, is deaf and is interpreted by three weird psychics who read his mind and speak his thoughts. He’s naturally smitten with Deanna (who he discusses such romantic notions as sexual urges and desires with – ugh), but when his interpreters are killed in an insanely brutal display of special effects, he must learn to communicate on his own. It’s a surprisingly touching story with a hopeful ending, making it a decent, if flawed, attempt at defining the heart of TNG.
- S2 E4 “The Outrageous Okona”
Originally aired on December 12, 1988
When two warring planets vie for criminal custody of a lovable space-scamp, you just know everyone is going to start talking about sex.
This is one of those “fun-loving” episodes that can go horribly wrong at a moment’s notice, but it manages to mostly stay on track. Okona is a Han Solo wannabe who winds up on the Enterprise while two planets argue about who gets to arrest him. While onboard, he teaches everyone to lighten up a little and gives plenty of advice about all manners of love and lovemaking (featuring a young Teri Hatcher). The handling of this pillow talk isn’t as gross as you might think, but still… It’s like TNG writers can’t help themselves when it comes to 24th-century sex-ed. And as much as I’d like to, let’s not forget Data’s cringe-worthy holodeck comedy lessons from Joe Piscopo. Will his star ever stop rising?
- S2 E10 “The Dauphin”
Originally aired February 20, 1989
Wesley falls in love with the future ruler of a planet at war. The teen love angle may be awkward and annoying, but it could be a lot worse.
I know everyone hates Wes but me. He’s really easy to make fun of, but that may be part of why I’ve always liked him. His extreme nerdiness makes him an outsider which puts him in the relatable category. Sue me. In this episode, Wes gets his heart broken by a glowing ball of light that – you guessed it – is destined to unite two civilizations who’ve been at war for generations. The old stand-by premise may be tired, but at least nobody gets sex-crazed. Plus, Worf very nearly hits an old lady, so it’s got that going for it. And yes, that is Mädchen Amick shortly before her big break on Twin Peaks. Thanks for asking.
- S2 E15 “Pen Pals”
Originally aired May 1, 1989
Data violates the prime directive to save a young girl whose planet is being torn apart by earthquakes. In other news, Wes gets to command the geological team tasked with stopping the tremors.
First off, young Nikki Cox as Sarjenka is just adorable. She really knows how to make the crew of Starfleet’s flagship violate their most honored oath without even trying. I have a hard time believing that Data would so flagrantly disobey orders and use manipulative tactics against Captain Picard, but the results make for decent TV nonetheless. Wes’s subplot is good too, but the two together take away from the whole. However, I love it when the senior staff sits down to debate the meaning and spirit of the Prime Directive. Those kinds of philosophical discussions are some of what I love about TNG.
- S2 E14 “The Icarus Factor”
Originally aired April 24, 1989
“Ambojitsu – the ultimate evolution in the martial arts.” Riker fights his dad while Worf masochistically celebrates a milestone.
I remember always being annoyed by the Riker plotline of this episode but enjoying Worf’s. Riker has daddy issues (go figure) but they’re predictable and tidied up nicely in the final act (they fight in a futuristic martial arts battle). The Worf story is much more compelling. When Wes notices the big guy is more angry and surly than usual he makes it his business to discover why. Turns out, the anniversary of Worf’s “Rite of Ascension,” a violentKlingon coming of age ritual, has come and gone. Plucky young lad that he is, Wes decides to recreate the ceremony with a rather random assortment of crew members as witnesses. It’s weird and funny and just goes to show that Worf’s character arc and development is the most complex of the entire franchise (it’s true – more on that as we progress).
Personal Log: In high school, I started a Star Trek-themed punk band called Tiberius. Our first song was called “Rites of Ascension.” It was bad. I don’t think we ever played a single show.
- S2 E20 “The Emissary”
Originally aired on June 20, 1989
Another Worf-centric episode that takes us one step closer to understanding our favorite Klingon security officer. Also a set-up for a later twist.
A special Klingon envoy beamed aboard the Enterprise turns out to be Worf’s old flame. Tensions mount and guttural insults are thrown, but in the end, the day is saved. Worf and K’Ehleyr have real chemistry, making their torrid romance believable. The mission is fun too and serves as more than just a convenient way to find Worf a lady friend. If you know the series, you know that this is the set-up to a major character arc in Worf’s development, proving once again that he is the most dynamic and well-rounded character on the show.
- S2 E3 “Elementary, Dear Data”
Originally aired on December 5, 1988
Geordi creates a Holmesian holodeck villain capable of defeating Data. Things naturally get out of hand.
I’ve always been a sucker for the “holodeck gone crazy” episodes. I shouldn’t fall for it (it’s kind of a copout plot device) but I appreciate most deviations from the norm that allow for characters interact with each other in different ways and for them to wear new outfits. This time around, Geordi gets fed up with Data being able to instantly solve every Sherlock Holmes mystery the holodeck throws at him. To give him a challenge, he tells the computer to create a villain capable of defeating Data. This seemingly innocuous command causes all kinds of trouble and possibly creates a new life form. In an ending only TNG could pull off (or would even think of in the first place), the computer invented and hyper-intelligent Moriarty allows for a logical conclusion to his own existence. A well-thought and rational close to a smart, fun episode.
- S2 E13 “Time Squared”
Originally aired on April 3, 1989
When a duplicate Picard is discovered unconscious on a duplicate shuttlecraft, existentialism is in the cards.
I always get a kick out of the old “time distortion” episodes, but when Picard chooses to kill “himself,” I can’t help but applaud the existentialism. What causes the distortion and why is never resolved, but it doesn’t have to be. The tension onboard the Enterprise is plenty to keep things moving. There’s a lot to work with even if the phenomena isn’t explained. And when Picard starts freaking out (both of them), the fear in Patrick Stewart’s eyes is well acted and well received. And you have to love that, in a bold and desperate move, he kills himself. Eat your heart out Kierkegaard.
- S2 E17 “Samaritan Snare”
Originally aired on May 15, 1989
Picard tells Wes about his artificial heart while Geordi is kidnapped by a group of dim-witted Pakleds.
The most interesting part of this episode isn’t what happens in it, but the story it sets up for a really fun and dynamic episode a few seasons down the road. Season Two writers were very fond of the “two unrelated storylines happening at once” motif for their episodes, and as is usually the case, one story outshines the other. “Samaritan Snare” is no different. However, this time the more compelling story (Geordi being abducted by an incompetent race called the Pakleds) is unknowingly outdone by a small tidbit Picard reveals to Wesley on their long shuttlecraft voyage. This seemingly insignificant utterance about the origin of Picard’s artificial heart serves as the set-up to one of my favorite episodes TNG ever produced (more on that when we get to Season Six). I guess that’s what you call an “Easter Egg.”
- S2 E11 “Contagion”
Originally aired on March 20, 1989
Unlikely allies must work together to defeat a computer virus infecting both ships.
I love Romulans and I love Picard’s interest in archaeology. Jesus, I’m a nerd. Anyway, the Enterprise enters the Neutral Zone just in time to see its sister ship the Yamato explode. When a Romulan Warbird decloaks nearby, they are the assumed culprits. However, after a tense stand-off, it’s discovered that an extinct civilization known as the Iconians are to blame. Highly advanced and potentially misunderstood, the Iconians have left behind some technology that is wreaking havoc on both ships. Temporal distortions and embarrassed Romulans both add to the mystery while Picard gets to geek out on archaeology and save the day.
- S2 E21 “Peak Performance”
Originally aired on 10, 1989
A true adventurous spirit lights this fun episode with a few twists up its sleeve.
“Peak Performance” may be lighthearted but it still delivers on the action and drama. Scheduled to participate in a war games training exercise, Riker takes command of the Hathaway, an outdated, tiny, 80-year-old ship. After choosing his crew (including Geordi, Worf, and Wes), the team sets off to equip the ship with the goal of defeating Picard and the Enterprise in a mock battle. Clever manipulations and trickery are up the Hathaway crew’s sleeve as they make up for their lack of firepower with cunning and guile. The fun everyone is having is evident (except maybe for Data, who has a personal crisis), making this episode one I look forward to every time it comes on. On a side note, I usually hate made-up “future” games, but Strategema looks weirdly fun. I love Data’s eventual logical approach to its play.
- S2 E9 “The Measure of a Man”
Originally aired on February 13, 1989
The first truly great episode of The Next Generation features Data fighting for his right to choose his own destiny.
The long and short of it is this: Data has to prove in a court of law that he is a person. Issues of sentience, slavery, ethics, and morality all come into play in this very dramatic and very engaging episode. “The Measure of a Man” is a wonderful example of what TNG is capable of and why it’s such an important show. Every time I see it I get goosebumps. Data’s simple reasoning and inflexibility when it comes to his own existence are phenomenal. Picard’s compelling case to prove to Starfleet that Data is an individual is dramatic and powerful. Riker, stuck with arguing the other side of the debate, is clearly conflicted but steadfast in his duty. All told, this is television at its finest. It may have taken them 35 episodes to do it, but with “The Measure of a Man,” TNG became great.
Personal Log: This is the first episode I remember seeing as it originally aired and knew that I was watching something special. It’s this episode that made me a young fan, which led to me still loving these characters into my 40s. Thank you for this episode.
- S2 E16 “Q-Who?”
Originally aired on May 8, 1989
The introduction of the greatest threat the Federation has ever faced. Tension, drama, and Q!
The Borg are a big deal. Like, a really big deal. “Q-Who?” may start typically for an episode featuring the bratty omnipotent being with a Picard fixation, but it becomes something much more pretty quickly. First, we learn that Guinan and Q have a history (a huge “wow” moment if there ever was one). Then we’re introduced to the Borg – identity-lite cyborgs bent on the assimilation of whole species and planets into their collective intelligence. They’re unstoppable and terrifying. I can’t say enough good things about “Q-Who?” as we learn a lot very fast. Few TNG episodes pack in this much action and information, and when they do, it usually involves the Borg once again. Seriously, this is the set-up for massive plot elements to come, and it all happens because Q is lonely. He might come off as quaint if he weren’t so sinister. Between the intelligence and responsibility of “The Measure of a Man” and the unabashed excitement and desperation of “Q-Who?,” TNG had found an irresistible balance.
Personal Log: I remember watching this as an 11-year-old and feeling absolutely terrified. I’m talking edge of my seat. I don’t think I blinked through the entire final chase scene even once.
James is a writer, record collector, wrestling nerd, and tabletop gamer living with his family in Asheville, North Carolina. He is a member of the Southeastern Film Critics Association, the North Carolina Film Critics Association, and contributes to The Daily Orca, Razorcake Magazine, Mountain Xpress, and Asheville Movies.