Film Review: Zombie Nightmare (1986)

It’s hard to hate the undead Heavy Metal voodoo revenge flick Zombie Nightmare. It’s too dumb to waste energy on actively disliking it. Better to laugh at it and enjoy yourself with its idiocy. That’s just what Mike and the gang did on a 1994 episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, anyway – and what I did too. Zombie Nightmare is a bad movie, but with the help of the MST3K crew, it becomes an experience that’s not just palpable, but (dare I say) enjoyable.

Years ago, a young boy named Tony watches as his father is murdered while attempting to stop the assault of a young girl. Tony grows up to be a giant muscle man with a tendency to stop crime with his enormous physique (played by real-life jack-of-all-trades John Mikl Thor). One night, after nonchalantly thwarting evil, he’s hit by a car filled with hopped-up weirdos (including a young Tia Carrere) who can’t be bothered to stop. It turns out the woman Tony’s father saved all those years ago is a voodoo priestess, so naturally it’s decided that some old-fashioned resurrection is in order. Tony, now an undead, stumbling abomination, is out for revenge on everyone and everything.

It’s silly, yes, but it’s punctuated with thick Canadian accents and bottom-barrel heavy metal, making it the exact kind of thing I enjoy with old friends after we’ve had several beers. All the punks and metalheads are zonked out freaks who commit random crimes and have no time for society’s rules. You know, just like real life. It might not be high art, but it’s brainless fun that’s accented by witty commentary by a spaceman and his robots. (For any fellow Minnesotans out there, I counted three references to the Land of 10,000 Lakes: Tommy Stinson, Garrison Keillor, and the Anoka-Ramsey Community College)

I can’t bring myself to give Zombie Nightmare any more stars, but this terribly made, terribly acted, and all-around half-witted effort by schlockmeister Jack Bravman has a few interesting qualities. And by interesting, I mean awful – but fun.

I forgot to mention that Adam West also makes an appearance – in case that sort of thing strikes your fancy. And be sure not to miss now-successful Hollywood producer Shawn Levy in his acting debut. His defiant attitude and compelling facial expressions will surely inspire you.